Racism in Interracial Relationships: Hidden Biases, Judgment, and Public Perceptions

Relationships come in all forms—romantic, platonic, professional—and chances are, many of us already have people in our lives from different racial or cultural backgrounds. It’s important for you to be aware of some internal biases and external racism. One day, you may all meet someone, fall in love, and live happily ever after with your new partner, who may be of a different race.

At least that’s what happened to me. This is my incredible partner Michal. We’ve been together for three and a half years and for most of that time, we have also lived together. That being said, we have experienced a lot for a couple our age. But before I get any further, I want to acknowledge that, as a white woman, I understand I will never be able to fully understand the impact racism has on people. I do not see myself, nor anyone else from my race, as a victim of racism, relationship or not. I believe it is important for everybody to do their own research, and since being in my current relationship, that has only become more important to me. I can only speak on my personal experiences and share the research I have done, but I am grateful to you for reading about my opinion on this topic, and I urge you all to continue to do your own research following this.

From our experience, I can tell you that he has had close family friends express that they don’t want him to be with me because I’m not black. People who had never even met me were already vocal to him about his own relationship. I’ve had people who have been shocked when they found out my boyfriend was black. They told me they could only picture me with a white guy. I will never forget the look on one girl’s face when she first found out. She didn’t even know what to say. Not every interaction comes from a place of malice, but can also come from closeminded-ness and failure to recognize biases.

According to ME&A, hidden biases are implicit or unconscious biases. They are the underlying attitudes and stereotypes that we unconsciously attribute to another person or group of people, which affect how we understand and engage with others. Researchers suggest that hidden biases in our brains make quick judgments of others, and as a result, some people benefit, while others are penalized. Off of nothing but a snap judgment. This is a natural part of the human condition.

A 2013 journal article titled, Attitudes Toward Interracial Relationships Among College Students, discusses a study conducted at five universities, two of which were HBCUs, in the United States and Canada that was done to determine attitudes towards interracial relationships.

This study involved 1,173 college students from a wide representation of schools, from Canada, to New England, to the South, and to the Midwest. According to the article, ‘The students at each university were asked to voluntarily fill out an anonymous survey, which asked them about their current dating or marital partner and the race of their partner as well as a series of questions about their attitudes toward interracial relationships between Asians and Whites and Blacks and Whites.’ The students had to choose from ‘strongly disagree’, ‘disagree’, ‘agree’, and ‘strongly agree’. There was no neutral option. Some of the questions were, ‘I think it is a good idea for blacks and whites to date,’ and ‘My parents think it’s a good idea for Asian Americans and whites to marry,’. The results found that the students were more approving than their parents were. The percentage was higher in approval for asian american and white relationships than black and white relationships. And that attitudes towards black/white relationships at HBU’s were less positive and black students and their parents disapproved of interracial relationships more commonly than white students and their parents. Only 27.4% of students strongly agreed with black/white relationships and 25.8% agreed with black/white marriages. 28.1% of students agreed with asian american/white relationships, and 27.6% agreed with asian american/white marriages. The percentage for parents was significantly lower, going as low as 10.1% of black parents agreeing with black/white marriages.

Many people are unaware of these hidden biases and that this is actually a form of racism. Everybody has some type of unconscious biases. In an article written by Steve Yacovelli, he says, ‘Science has shown that our brain takes in 11 million bits of information every second, but we can consciously process only about 40 bits of data at any time. How do we manage with that 99.999636% gap? In short, through our unconscious bias.’ The steps towards managing these biases are to accept that we have them, stop and monitor them, be aware that you can be doing more than just believing you’re inclusive, and educate yourself and others around you.

Racism in interracial relationships can be experienced through judgmental interactions from family and friends.

According to the National Library of Medicine, adults in interracial relationships have poorer mental health than those in same-race relationships. Specifically, this includes higher psychological distress, more depressive symptoms, and lower self-rated health. The two major explanations are public perceptions, which we will get to, and judgemental interactions from friends and family members. Research on family dynamics focuses on the level of support and research found that those in interracial relationships have less access to places to stay, emergency babysitting, and financial support from family members. Results from a mental health study in regard to interracial relationships, there were three main differences - major discrimination, everyday discrimination, and negative interactions with family members.

This is not an uncommon experience for those in interracial relationships. Many people share their stories online and seek advice.

According to a Gallup News article, in 2020, U.S. perceptions of interracial relations reached a new low. Only 44% of American adults have a positive view on black and white relationships - the most negative year since 2001. This 44% can be compared to 62% for white/hispanic relations, 66% for black/hispanic relations, 68% for black/asian relations, and 78% for white/asian relations.

Public perceptions can range from dirty looks and racist comments to hate crimes. As stated in an article from “The Charlotte Observer”, in 2019, a 14 year old white girl was in a relationship with an African-American boy who she met at church. Her family’s minivan was spray painted with a swastika and several racial slurs. A second family vehicle was set on fire. The case was investigated as a hate crime. Amanda Miller, the girl’s mother, says her daughter previously dated another black boy in middle school and received numerous threatening messages on social media. She says…

As I come to a close, I want to reinforce that racism in interracial relationships can be experienced through hidden biases, judgmental interactions and public perceptions. I hope you all were able to learn something from this and maybe even begin to recognize your own hidden biases. Remember there is always more you could be doing when it comes to being educated and inclusive. Once again, I thank you for your time.