Nothing Good Lasts Forever (And That’s the Beauty of it)

There is nothing about my life that I want to change. I have a job that I actually enjoy going to every day, I live in one of my favorite cities in the world, the world’s friendliest cat is my best friend, and the people in my life now mean more to me than anyone else ever has. Life genuinely has never felt better and I wouldn’t rather be anywhere else with anyone else than where I get to be every day.

Except everything is going to change. Very quickly. Four years ago, I started my first Disney College Program. I was eighteen years old and hadn’t known anything outside of my hometown and the two friends that I had my entire life. I had a great childhood and I loved who I was as a teenager, so to leave the life I knew and start over in a new state was a hard transition for me. I cried a lot leaving my childhood house, I cried a lot when my family left me in my new apartment, and I cried a lot to my mom over the phone in the months to come.

If you don’t know, the Disney College Program is an internship that can last anywhere between three months and a year. It is a temporary position in a temporary apartment in a temporary city. I knew all of this before I applied, of course, but I don’t think many people think about how much it’s going to hurt when you move on. After all, you haven’t met the people you’re going to grow close to, you haven’t fallen in love with your local coffee shop, and you haven’t fallen into a routine of going to the movies after work yet. So how could you begin mourning something you don’t know how to love yet?

As hard of a transition as it was for me to move to Orlando for that program, I was so excited. This was something I had wanted to do for a long time, and it was even better than I could’ve ever imagined. Every day felt like I was living in a dream. I absolutely adored both of my roommates (and I went random!), I got to be in my favorite place every single day, and I fell in love with someone I thought I was going to marry. The program ended up being perfect in my eyes, and I pictured the rest of my life there — with that job and those people.

But that forever didn’t come. My boyfriend at the time, who I met on that program, was going back to Atlanta and I decided to go with him. I was so nervous. I had never been to Atlanta before, I didn’t know a single person there besides him, and I didn’t have a job there. I am very glad I had him by my side or else this would have been a harder transition for me. I was always an introvert, but during my years in Atlanta, I felt myself slowly shrinking further into my shell and struggling more with my mental health and anxiety.

At Disney, it was so easy to meet people and make friends, and there was always something to do. But everything that was so perfect about my college program went away. I wasn’t living in Orlando surrounded by theme parks anymore. I spent almost four years in my relationship and had wanted to get married, but we broke up and don’t speak anymore. My roommate, who had been one of my best friends, and I don’t speak anymore either. Both of these relationships ending were for the best, but it’s strange to think about how at one time, they were the two closest people to me. I saw them as my husband and my maid of honor. For the time I spent on this program and the time I spent with them, everything was perfect. I never wanted or pictured things changing. And I grieved Orlando and the ending of those relationships. For the last two years I was with my partner, I was already grieving the relationship before it was officially over. I didn’t want to let go and have to deal with anything changing. And as much pain as these endings brought me, there is nothing I would have changed. If I could go back and do it again, even knowing all of this would come to an end, I would spend more time with my old best friend, I would love my boyfriend even harder, and I would spend an extra hour in the parks every day. Because even though these things didn’t last forever, they were important to me and they made me happy. More than anything or anyone else at the time. And looking back now, I am so grateful to have spent my time in those relationships at the most magical place on earth.

If you would have told me before I met my ex-boyfriend that I would ever live in Georgia, I would’ve laughed. It was never even on my radar as a possibility and for a long time being there, I felt like I was just living in his world. I didn’t have my own place, my own friends, or a job that I enjoyed.

But I started figuring it out. I left my job as a waitress and took a job in print production. I’ve always worked in and studied graphic design, but in high school, I took a three-year Graphic Communications course that included production in the curriculum. I’ve always had an interest in it, so I was excited (and nervous) to start working in it outside of a classroom. In my role, I handled graphic design, administrative tasks, and production. At nineteen, I got a raise and a promotion to Print Shop Manager. I loved it, but I still felt like something was missing.

I started seeing a therapist and she helped me identify areas of my life where I felt I could be happier in. I realized that I missed being a student and I felt guilty about taking a break from college. She introduced me to the Savannah College of Art & Design, which I still attend to this day. I fell in love with the school as soon as I toured it, and I still feel so strongly about it. I’ve learned so much, gotten so many incredible opportunities, and met so many amazing people. I finally started making my own friends in Atlanta and I was now studying and working in my dream field. At the time, I was still with my boyfriend from my Disney College Program, and I was getting more comfortable with my new life in Atlanta. I had a job I loved, I loved my classes, I got to be creative all the time, I had actual friends to hang out with there, and I got to spend my life with my partner and come home to someone I was so in love with every day. We lived together, we traveled a lot, and we adopted cats. Everything was perfect.

Until we broke up and he moved across the ocean. My life flipped. I only moved to Atlanta in the first place for him, and when he left, I didn’t want to be there anymore. Everything changed and I wasn’t in control of it. For a while, I was too depressed to wake up for work, and I missed a lot of my classes. I was alone in a city I never felt was fully mine and the future I pictured of us raising our children there disappeared.

My partner was very good to me until he wasn’t. And as easy as it would be for a lot of people to hate him if they were in my shoes, he was the closest person to me for years, he took care of me when I was sick, and he loved me a lot. He was there for me at the time in my life where I needed him and I will always be grateful to have experienced being that in love with another human being, getting to travel to different cities with him, sharing a home together, and having someone who, at the end of the day, was my best friend. The ending of that relationship was one of the hardest things I’ve ever gone through, but I learned so much from him and I am so lucky to have experienced so much with him as well.

Without him, I never would have lived in Atlanta. I never would have rediscovered my love for print production. I never would have attended SCAD. I never would have met the friends I have now. I never would have adopted my cat Fitz. I wouldn’t be the person I am now without him, and I will always be grateful for his role in my life’s journey.

I thought my life was over when we first broke up, but life actually just got better. I had no idea what to do with my life, so I decided to come back to Orlando and do a second Disney College Program until i figured something more permanent out. My program dates were originally set to be August 20th, 2025 through January 2nd, 2026. But I quickly fell very in love with my life here and I ended up extending my program to the maximum length of one year. I wake up every day excited to go to work and I put in an extension request for my shifts as much as I can. I have so many friends that the younger version of me from middle school wouldn’t believe it. I was always so shy before this, but the people I’ve met here make me want to go out every day and I don’t feel like I need a full social battery to spend time with them. I have a favorite coffee shop, I don’t need directions to get to the movie theater, I’ve gotten to see three ballet performances, I go to the art museums to draw, and I go ride Velocicoaster in my work pants after my shifts.

I have routines and people I love and I could see myself staying here forever. In fact, I almost did. Everything here is working so well for me. I may have an average of less than $4 in my bank account at any given time, but I really feel like my life is perfect right now and I could see myself staying in this same job with these same people forever, and I do think I would be happy. Because I have been so happy. The happiest I’ve been maybe ever. Every time I think my life is over after my “perfect life” is gone, things just get even better than the last time.

But a couple months ago, I started getting a lot of anxiety about staying here. The world is so big and I have a long list of things I want to do in my life before I settle down with any career, any company, or any city. Before I thought I was going to stay here, I was planning on going to France for a quarter to study abroad. And when I gave up on that and started planning on staying in Orlando instead, I found myself being unable to even go to the France pavilion at EPCOT because it hurt too much to think about what I was missing out on. I felt like my heart was breaking and I was just on Remy’s Ratatouille Adventure.

So as much as I want to stay, I owe it to myself to go see the rest of the world first. I always knew my program was going to end and I wasn’t going to see all my favorite people every day anymore. I knew I won’t get to go to Disney or Universal whenever I wanted or sneak Summerhouse cookies into the AMC at Disney Springs after work anymore. I knew when I signed up for this that it was temporary, and I made the decision to move on afterwards and study abroad, but now that everything actually is coming to an end, it hurts.

My best friend Rylee has been my rock since the very beginning of my program. She is my platonic soulmate and the main reason why my program has been so incredible. I’ll always remember meeting her at lower grouper at our attraction and how life-changing that moment was. She commented “yay gonna be sm fun !!” on my Instagram post when we first started our programs and I had no idea how much she would mean to me now. I have separation anxiety when I don’t see her for an entire day and I light up every time I see her. I met Brynne on move-in day in the line for our background checks because I was talking about Harry Potter with other people and the group conversation kept growing. She is one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met and some of my favorite nights were spent watching School Spirits with her and Ryan. I also found someone I look up to so much, personally and career-wise. I’ve said this to him before, but how I feel about Jonathan is the same way Amy Santiago feels about Captain Holt. Madison didn’t think I was crazy when I asked her to fly to New York with me on less than a twenty-four hour notice for our first time ever hanging out. She just booked her flight. I click more with her than I do with people I’ve known for a decade. Rachel, Jean, Bobby, Kendall, Dorris, Ciarra, Sofia, Kaylin, Allison, Malina, Tracie, Gabby, Kobe, Rhianna, Brandon, and a million others. Everybody I’ve met here means so much to me and seeing everybody start to leave breaks my heart.

Especially Rylee. Rylee was always planning on leaving before me, but now it’s getting closer and I don’t know what I’m going to do without her. I wish we could both stay in this bubble forever, but she is going to go on to do so many amazing things and have the coolest life experiences ever, and as much as it hurts knowing I won’t physically be by her side for a lot of them, I know that I have a best friend for life and I could not be more grateful for every day I’ve gotten to spend with such an incredible person. Thank you for making my time here so perfect. I was at the lowest point in my life when I moved here, and now I’m at the highest. Honestly, the majority of that is because of her, and I hope she always knows what a phenomenal person she is.

My life is going to look completely different three months from now. I haven’t ever been to the cities I’m going to live in, I haven’t met the people I’m going to share a dorm with, and I don’t know so much of what I’m about to learn. It’s scary that something that’s been so perfect for the past nine months is all going away so quickly, but I need to accept that nothing lasts forever and enjoy it while it’s right in front of me. Every time I’ve pictured my life somewhere and had to deal with the pain of endings, life has proven that the next thing can be just as great as the one before it. I think I will always look back on this year on the Disney College Program as one of the best years of my life. A year may sound like a long time for a stint, but it’s been going by way too quickly. For the next three months, I’m going to make the most of every single day with everybody here. I’m going to get a Summerhouse cookie every time I see a movie at AMC Theaters. I’m going to ride Guardians at EPCOT after work. I’m going to spend my mornings in Animal Kingdom before clocking in for my closing shifts. I’m going to say yes to things even if I’m tired and even if my bank account will hate me for it. I want to experience every day here to the fullest because just like everything else, it’s all going to change someday. All I can do is take each day one at a time and trust that things will always work out because they always have. And if they aren’t, I can always change my mind and start over somewhere else. But for now, I love my life here as it is and I am so grateful for everyone here who’s contributed to this euphoria. You all are invited to my 50th birthday party so clear your calendar for July 22, 2053. See you then.